Finding Love Through Teaching

The school here in Blantyre rests in the hands of those who have invested time and effort to keep it afloat. Receiving little support from the Union or local church, I’m left with the large task of depositing school fees, maintaining school equipment, and stocking school supplies when needed. And all without a mode of transportation. The attitude I choose to display when I walk out the front door of my little two-room studio in the morning has direct implications on how the school will function and succeed. If I’m organized and prepared, the students receive a somewhat decent education. If I’m disorganized and scatterbrained the students are left sitting at their desks trying to decide how they should interpret my actions. I strive to have lesson plans prepared ahead of time, schedules set in stone, and rules enforced. When the students can arrive knowing their teacher is prudent about their education, holding them accountable with what is expected of them, the time that school is in session can be spent constructively learning. And believe me, students know when you are passing the buck, let me tell ya. 

I never thought I would enjoy the atmosphere of schooling eight and ten year olds. Hearing them posit question after question after question until your head spins and falls off your shoulders from headache and frustration never registered possible. Listening to fighting, arguing, and tattletales all morning long is not what one originally intends to sign up for. But as time has lengthened itself into days, weeks, and months, I have found love amongst the youngsters. I awake in the morning under the protection of my mosquito net atop an uncomfortable three-inch foam mattress, not discouraged or upset that it couldn’t be an hour earlier so I could sleep a little longer, but enthused to get to school to be with my family away from home. It is being in the classroom that gives me a sense of inner joy and happiness. In class, I hold a high level of expectation not to frustrate or discourage, but because I love these kids,  I love my students. I claim to a love the runs deeper than passing out A's on a test or a sticker on a chart.  I claim a love that understands potential and praises growth, and a love that works to foster a successful future. This is the love that Jesus has for me, and it is a love that knows no bounds.

Unfortunately, loving hasn’t always meant smiles and laughs. There have been heart to hearts about cheating on exams in which tears of guilt and humiliation have aptly followed. There have been tears shed when the little one learns he needs to do a few more problems in Math before I say he can go to recess. Watching self desires collide with teacher's instructions as I attempt to navigate their learning has instigated periods of frustration and I’m sure my kids have rolled their eyes, clinched their pencil between their precious little fingers a little bit tighter, dug their feet into the floor beneath their desks, and asked themselves "why, why, why" so many times. In the future, I hope they will reflect upon this year and understand my intentions.

In the beginning, it was incredibly difficult to make seemingly ridiculous instructions or uphold seemingly impossible expectations. I remember when the majority of the school day felt disconnected and useless and there seemed to be a lack of mutual trust between the students and I. In that moment, it was difficult to decide which avenue to follow. To fall forwards against the uphill battle of creating a positive learning environment or to fall backwards, onto the easy road through time which would inevitably be plagued by personal guilt and remorse to come from neglecting the student’s education. As you may have guessed, the grunt work with no end in sight was the ticket to winning over the trust I always had hoped to accomplish.

Through the scrupulous work of answering head spinning questions to the promise of recreation with the completion of schoolwork, I have been able to overcome hardship and distrust at times, opening doors I would have not imagined accomplishing with no formal education in teaching. Nowadays, my students arrive at school in the morning understanding what the day will hold. They recognize what is expected of them and live out a confidence in surpassing the bar I hold them to. They have seen their capabilities displayed through success on cumulative academic exams, attention to detail in artwork, and demanding physical activity. We have grown to share a common trust and a mutual love. 

We must not neglect the minds of those under our care; Instead, we must cultivate and direct their footsteps into a world of unlimited possibility. Showing them the love Jesus actively shows us provides them with a vision of the proper stepping stones on a path towards spending eternity with our loving Creator, the greatest teacher of all time!